Should Mom/Dad Come Live With Me?

The COVID-19 pandemic forced a lot of us to reevaluate certain health-related decision making. As more and more people get vaccinated, some families are wondering if their older loved ones should remain in assisted living facilities, or if they would be happier and safer at home. Some may be feeling guilt about leaving their parent under someone else’s care. Others may be concerned about the cost of an assisted living facility, especially as many folks continue to suffer financial hardships due to the ongoing pandemic.

Before making a decision, consider what kind of care your loved one needs. Can they use the restroom on their own, or do they require assistance? Is their mobility a bit shaky? Does someone need to stand by to assist them when they rise out of a chair and move across a room? Are they able to prepare meals for themselves on their own? Can they safely enter the shower to bathe without help? Identify all the different types of help your loved one will need, and write them down.

Next, consider who will be providing the care to meet their needs. Are you able to handle it on your own? If you work full-time, be honest with yourself about whether you have both the energy and emotional fortitude to manage full-time work and full-time care. Is there another family member or loved one who can assist you? Realistically, will they be there if you get sick or injured and are unable to perform?

Most of us believe we can handle caregiving on our own, but we lack appreciation for the extent of the commitment it requires. This is also true for family members who may pressure us to be the primary caregiver. However, if you’re the sole caregiver, and your loved one requires round-the-clock attention, it is inevitable that you will burn out. Will you have a back-up plan? Will you ask for help?

Many of our clients came to us when their overwhelmed family members asked us for help. As a Life Care Planning law firm, we specialize in solving the long term care puzzle you are facing, including the central issue of who should be the primary caregiver. Our team can help you make good decisions that minimize burnout and prioritize the well-being of your loved one and you.  If you’re feeling stuck, give us a call and let us ease your burden. 

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